Knowing it All

Once upon a time,
I thought I had it down.
Thought I had a clue.
But I really don't.
I know that I like Florence and the Machine.
I know that I need to go over french.
I know that Nicole needs to be on tech crew or I'm going to cry.
I know that I have really wonderful friends who look out for me.
I know that I'm lucky, despite how I feel.
I know there's hope.

I also know that I suck at facing the unknown.
I know that I fail at looking at the bigger picture,
I get wrapped aroundthe details, even if it kills me.
I know I have a flair of the dramatics.
Look deep enough, and the problems there.
Pinky promise.
I know that I'm a lot to handle.
I know that when I look in the future and see a girl by herself...
I know,
I'm a silly girl.

But it's been a crazy ride recently.
And daunting images that wake me up repeatedly at three thirty three,
And dealing with mind over matter,
Brain over heart,
It becomes a lot.
So this is like a quick, silly apology to those that get the dragon tail effect of this.

I'm so sorry if I snap at you,
Ignore you,
Shot you a look that is so out of my character.
It's not me.
It's this devil inside that is shaking my world,
And screwing me over.
I never, ever, ever, want to hurt you.
EVER.
So. There.
I'm really sorry.
I'm just horrid at handling anything.
<3