Boys, Boys, Boys

Basically, I'm going to whine and complain about a boy for this post. So if you aren't into the melodrama's of the high school world then skip this post. Because, honestly, I'm over the boy card. I'm tired of simply saying, "He's a boy, he's stupid. Whatever." They really need to own up for their actions. Like... Now.

Okay, a little, mostly foggy background story. We'll call him ... Dmitri, like from Anastasia. Okay. So Dmitri and I have been friends for two plus years. I always knew it'd end up being him, another guy and me senior year. I've seen that coming since the end of freshman year. For yes. I like Dmitri for ages, and for anyone who's had a long time crush, it's easy to slide from liking to not liking someone. He knows I liked him, everyone who's known me knows that I liked him.

The last spring, we had a fall out. And it wasn't my fault. I have mommy syndrome, and he couldn't handle me with the stress of tests and a girl who played him like checkers. So we stopped talking for the end of spring and summer. We were reduced to polite conversation and I got over him. It hurt, but it's made me see him more clearly now.

Now about a month ago at this point he got a cell phone, and publicly showed everyone. And I texted him. It wasn't this big move, I had done it before. I didn't think I'd end up texting close to two thousand messages to him. We played truth or dare, and I learned loads about him. I've always been pretty good about reading people, and this game we played for two weeks made the fog leave and let me see him.

Now, during rehearsal, or during the school day, it's so easy for me to tell what he's thinking, even though he's bound to answer with Mexican food. He's a sweetheart, but reckless when it comes to matters of his and others hearts. He's said some stupid stuff to some girls, flaunts feelings for them, and acts like himself (a ridiculously flirty personality.)

Now, last night was a dance. I go to dances a lot, no big deal. And I had fun! But Dmitri pulled the boy card so many times last night that I wanted to strangle him.

You can't keep staring at me.
You won't get answers from watching me dance.
Ask me to dance with you and lets get somethings figured out.

But I did find out that he's being careful and that's why our texting has blipped off the radar. But it would've been nice if he would've mentioned it to me. Given me that heads up that I should not send him snow day reminders and silly things like that, that his parents will think are me flirting with this boy that I'm magically in love with.

Whether this is an act of denial or not, I really don't think that I like him.
Because even if I did there's too many up's and too many downs.
Just like the fact that religion stands as the gate in between us.
No matter how close of friends we were, he's too scared to see me in public.
Too the point where he'll stop looking at me.
We were friends before the cell phone.
He owes me to act like himself.
Not the doucher that he's playing to be right now.

So, here's what I know:

A. He might just like me.
B. Which would be cool, he's playing stupid games for stupid reasons because he doesn't understand the feeling.
C. He won't text me to be careful.
D. Last night was ridiculously fun and it was nice to let go.
E. I want to curl up with pretzals, nutella, and watch the Oscars.
F. I need to do my french work. I think I get everything now but the story line.
G. I want to talk to my broha about the whole ordeal with Dmitri because they have similar personalities, but I'm so scared to be like, "Hey. I need you to hear me out and give me advice."
H. I hate boys. This is why I should go to an all girls school. Unfortunately girls are catty.

Maybe I just dislike people.
haha.
That would explain it.

Okay. I'm done.
I need to do something with myself.

Less than a month until tap :)
Birthday in less than two weeks.
Show opens in less than two weeks.
It closes in just over three.

Almost there.