So... I guess I graduated?

I think that I've had more than enough time to fully digest graduation before I post about it. It's been roughly five days since I've been graced with a diploma, adulthood, and numerous graduation congratulations.

Graduation was a blur.

It goes by so fast. 


No one really warns you for how fast it'll feel. I hardly remember walking across the stage. I walked behind my counselor like a squash, but you know, I followed the example of several before me. I learn by example... and I panicked. So, I was one of "those" kids.

It just absolutely amazes me that the biggest moment of the entire high school career is over in a blink of an eye. I spent more time in the back halls goofing around with the chords, than I actually spent graduating. I spent more time with three lovely people singing, laughing, being loud than being in the gym.

I didn't trip though! That's a plus. I was SO worried.

My theatre director was in my line of teachers to say goodbye too. I about cried when I got a hug from him. It was the only time I almost cried. He's been the life changing teacher in my life. Easily one of the hardest goodbyes to say.

I just have a hard time even wrapping my mind around "graduation". I got to wear the funny robe; I had classic issues with the cap.


I just have a wonderful group of people that love and support me. In the end, that's all the really matters.

Photo Credit - Mrs. Blyckert :)

Belief

"I believe in you." 

Those four words hang tightly in my mind,

Painted in earth tones on ceramic mugs. 

The paint has raised slightly, and every time I run my thumb over it,

It's you.

You're face is etched in my mind. 

Strong, commanding eyes that speak the wisdom of the ages. 

But your words tend to be laced with daggers - 

And I drop the mug, watching it shatter into tiny pieces - 

Each reflecting a moment of you. 

You're face covered in flour,

How we failed in making cookies,

Wearing the dessert more than baking it.

You're hands encased in the messily knitted gloves that I had once upon a time given you. 

You're eyes tilted slightly upwards, as we danced in the moonlight,

My pale colored dress twirling around in the warmth of the firelight. 

The night you gave me your sweatshirt -

When the rain was pouring  and you told me that you loved me. 

That you believed in me. 

And that night when I believed you.

Because I loved you too. 

I'm Never Doing This Again. (lies).

Awkward Moment Here.

I rode my first roller coasters ever today. Yes, at seventeen years old.

Let's be honest, the feeling of flying our of your seat, and your stomach flying up through your neck isn't really my thing. Like, at all. But three rides later, with three of the best people ever to go with, I'm still in one piece, writing to you.

If it wasn't for them I don't really know of I ever would have walked up those dreaded steps, and buckled myself in for such a memorable part of my life.

Now, the video linked above just made me laugh, and there's a part where one of the guys said that he was never doing this again. I said that three times. I only ended up meaning it once.

Thank you everyone, and if this was an oober personal life blog, I would tell you all everything that it meant to me that is to be said. But I won't. Some of the most beautiful things are kept under the radar. And those are my feelings for you.

So you think you are a fairy tale?

Once upon a time there were these two princesses.
And they enjoyed....picking apples.
Like, not the nasty ones, the juiciest, brightest, yummiest looking ones.
And then they'd share them.
With the whole world.
They didn't really have to share, for they were princesses.
BUT! They really liked sharing.
This one princess, we'll call her....Princess Abby.
Well, Abby really liked this prince. We'll call him...Wes.
Abby and Wes really got along.
You see, Wes really liked to bake.
His favorite thing to bake?
You guessed it. Apple pies.
So, he'd be like: "My princess! Please bring me a basket of apples!"
Then Abby would say: "Alright, my love. I shall do this deed."
While picking apples, Abby had a run in with the apple picker man, Ferdinand.
Ferdinand was awkward, but handsome.
Suddenly. Abby was stuck. This was something she'd never had to deal with.
So she forgot about Ferdinand. It was easier, and faster.
One day, while Abby was outside, watching for the mail, another woman crawled into the back window to say hello to Wes.
Let's call her....Nadia.
Nadia had been desperately trying to get into Wes' flamboyant trousers. I think. And Wes, being a silly man, decided to roll with it.
Abby was crushed. It took her many moons to become slightly alright with it.
She stopped picking apples. It wasn't fun.
One day her sister (named Cici) said: "Sister! There is a ball tonight. We're going. You don't have a choice."
Abby got all beautiful and became excited for the ball. There was a rumor that a new man was in town.
Abby was on duty. She was supposed to meet this new man, when she walked into a body.
"Oh sorry."
"Ughhh"
"Are you alright?"
"Are you...Abby"
Abby was shocked. He new her name? She replied with a yes.
He bowed low, and she could see the unusual color of hair.
"F-ferdinand?"
"Yes it is I! Love me!"
And Abby did. A moon went by with no issues.
She could swear she was falling in love with him.
Now, you're expecting me to bring Wes back into the story. But I'm not.
It's up to you how this love story ends. Abby can stick with Ferdinand.
Or, in some magical way, Wes can steal back her heart.
But it's just life.
Sometimes, sitting and waiting could be the best choice.
Or, you could just write a cheapy fairy tale.
Anything go's.
Really.
Love is battlefield.
You can't be afraid of being bruised.

Collection of letters.

Dear You.
We have a problem.
A pretty big problem.
We've gotten pretty close.
And it's going to hurt me in the end.
Because unfortunately, we click.
Despite the fact that our zodiacs say that we're only good in bed, not in real relationships.
This would be fine if it wasn't for your right hand woman.
This woman who doesn't see you most of the time.
I do.
Right now, I'm texting you.
Yes, you're really one of my closest friends.
You moved up.
Congrats.
Just...one day. Give me a shot.
I promise I'll be worth your time.

Dear Sir.
WHO ARE YOU?
I don't want this 'I'm super cool' answer.
I mean, who are you inside.
Who the hell are you playing to be?
And if this is the real you, who were you last year when we became close?
Because either way, one of us messed up.
I'm hoping its you.
I'm careful on who I trust things with and I can't be wrong with this.
I'm planning on burning the bridge and leaving you on the other side.
You've played me.
You've hurt me.
You've pressured me.
And I keep returning like some sick lap dog.
I need the attention, and you give it.
But now that even that has gone away, I can't be hurt by you over and over again.
The ball is yours. I'm done. I give up.
You either keep playing this game, or call it quits and let me back on the team.
As of now, you're playing alone.

Hey Baby.
I love you.
I love our hand motions.
I love how we burst into song.
I've never really needed someone like you, until I met you.
That need, that want was just buried so far underneath and then because you're so wonderful
YOU PULLED IT OUT! (That is was she said. In slight relief?)
Really. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Who else would sing Peacock with me? Not many others in Spoland.
It breaks my heart to watch you pulled in so many directions right now.
Just remember that santa has three ho's.
<3

Dear Koi.
You don't know me yet.
Or you might, you just don't have anything deep for me yet.
I miss you.
I'm in longing for you.
Because sometimes, a girl really just needs a confronting voice and a hug.
That tingle inside me says that you love me.
And I love you.
I just need to do a little soul searching to find you.
Continue looking for me.
I'll be there.
Beautiful to you.
Ready to be the princess.
With all my love.

Dear Man In The Sky,
I don't pray.
You know this.
I just...I don't like feeling like I'm talking to myself.
But I'm going to write this quick letter to you.
Here it goes:
Hey. I need you. I need peace.
I fake it real well.
Get rid of this measly dramas.
Let me back to where I find myself the most tense and the most relaxed.
Let me be a stronger person when looking at these moments in hindsight.
Just lend me that one straight line to follow with the least amount of bumps that you can hand out.
I'd like that.
Thanks for listening. I know you're probably pretty bogged down.
The Girl In This World.