Up, Up into Adulthood. Sorta.

I've done a lot, and I mean a lot, of thinking over the past couple weeks. I know I have these moments where I'm all "I've grown up. I'm going to be so much stronger!" I've never been stronger. More prepared, maybe, but rarely stronger. I hand out chances like free samples at Costco. I never want to see the bad in anybody, the faith that good is underneath is always there. That spark of naivety and innocence always gets me. It's stupid to see the same person in the same red alarm light, and handing them a second chance ticket. Or third. Or fourth. Or tenth. Or hundredth.

I know that I'm a beautiful girl with a happy personality. I'm surrounded by people who love me, respect me, need me, want me. My sisters of this electronic world love me. I love them. I have amounts of brothers that know the moment I'm falling. It's a wonderful thing. I know that I'm set for a positive and successful life. I know that high school is a hole that I have to climb out of, that no matter where I go for the next years of education, my future loves, my future life: I'm ready.

Because, I'm a stronger person. For real. 

Instead of handing out chances, I turned my back. I'm merely polite. 

We can be friends when he decides he wants my friendship. Not when he needs me. 

I won't pick up another phone call from him where he's crying. I won't stress over him, while he ignores me the next day. I won't hand him my heart and watch him stick it in a blender and press puree. 

Instead of waiting around for a man, I'm standing alone. 

Not in a 'don't come near me way', but in the, 'hey. I'm a babe. Sorry if that doesn't meet your standard.'

Because I'm special and I'm worth it. I'd make a pretty great girlfriend, but I'm cool being a good friend too. But I won't throw my whole world aside for you. Made that mistake already, and I don't want to do it again.

I'm growing up, and it's a wonderful feeling.